Friday, November 15, 2013

The old magnetic pull

Once again, we are honored by Patsy Middleton with 200 words exploring new beginnings from old endings. Read on, and ponder.

Encounter on a Train

© 2013, Patsy Middleton

 The train pulled in to the platform and she looked up at the station sign.

Good, she thought, five more stops—and she continued reading.

Someone sat next to her. She didn’t have to look up. She knew it was him, her ex-fiancĂ©.

Would he say something? Should she say something?

The old magnetic pull was there and her heart began to quicken. 

He was looking at her. She could feel it.

She stared at the words on the page and they danced in front of her eyes.

She should say hello, at least, she thought.

No, he should say hello. He was such a stickler for manners—that was why they had split up: her lack of knowledge of his cultural protocol. But if he had really loved her, that wouldn’t have mattered. She had seen the years ahead: she always treading on eggshells, trying not to displease him. He always finding fault.

No, she was right not to marry him. 

He had been so hurt. His sister said he cried. She had felt numb.

The journey between stations lasted an age.

The train slowed, stopped. He got out.

Had it really been him or had she imagined it?



  1. Beautiful. I most sincerely enjoyed this piece and am looking forward to more. Thank you, Patsy Middleton, for submitting this little story to the challenge. What a lovely thing to share.

    Elizabeth Rowan Keith

  2. This was fantastic, in style and substance. That ending is so powerful; terrific work!

  3. You packed a lot into 200 words. Very well done. Now I'm left wondering too...